priorities

If You Don’t Rest Now, You May Be Dead Later

April 12, 2013 by Lucrecer 4 Comments

My last post about breaking down resonated with a few people this week. A friend contacted me privately to say this was something she needed to read and thanked me for being so transparent. Another said she was going through a similar situation and she thought she was alone. I want to make it clear, there was not one single thing that contributed to my body giving out on me last week, it was multiple things. A lack of sleep, no time to recover from long periods of work and activities, trying to bring extra money into my household and raising three children as a single mother takes its toll on the body both mentally and physically. I was lying whenever I was asked how I was doing. I gave the standard, expected answer of, “I’m fine,” because when it comes down to it, most people really don’t care how you are doing. It is one of those questions not meant to be answered…truthfully.

We need to give each other permission to not have to lie.

We need to stop making people feel like they are not team players when they put themselves, their health or their family first. What has happened to respecting a person’t boundaries? I understand obligations and I believe in being true to what you have committed to doing, but I also believe we have become so busy being busy, people no longer know how to disconnect and reconnect with their family or themselves.

Sucking it up does not make you stronger.

While I was experiencing all that pain last week, I thought about pushing through it. I thought about sucking it up and going into work and denying I felt as bad as I did. Then, I thought about my kids and what would happen to them if I allowed stress to take me out. Nothing is worth losing your health over. And, we can not preach being healthy to our children when we are not being healthy.

Make restoration a priority in your life.

We are more than we seem. We are human. We require rest, stimulation, challenge and love to be whole beings. Promise me this, you will take time in the next week to disconnect and just be. Spend time with people who are important to you. Tell a family member, a friend or a co-worker you appreciate them. Do not assume they know. You tell them!

Question: What is the one thing you are going to do today to reconnect with yourself and someone who is important to you?

Filed Under: Writer's Life Tagged With: be kind, challenge, children, commitments, focus, grateful, health, permission, priorities, reconnct, rest, restoration, sharing, stress, support, you are more than you seem

You Want a Breakthrough? Have a Breakdown

April 9, 2013 by Lucrecer 15 Comments

Last week, I had a breakdown. I experienced the worst back pain and headache I have had in years. My body revolted against me in agony and taught me a lesson. This is what I learned from this:

I am Human.

As a human, I require rest, both mentally and physically. When I come home from my day job, I move right into my main job of being a mother and taking care of my kids and household. Unfortunately, there are days I feel like I am not giving my kids my best. Instead, they receive what is left of me and I have a problem with that. I am frequently exhausted and so burned out, it depresses me. This has lead me to:

Get My Priorities Straight.

I don’t know about you, but quality of life for me is not constantly being so busy you can barely breath. My children are my top priority. Period. Telling them that is not good enough, I have to show my children they are important by giving them my time and attention. Secondly, my health is important to me, but I have not giving this priority standing in my life like I want to. It’s no wonder I had two days of pain, but now I understand that:

Breakdowns can be a Blessing.

The first day of my body’s mutiny, I was conversing with a friend about our dreams and goals for life. She and I touch base a few times during the week to encourage each other. She told me to have the breakdown and to let it come so I could rebuild. She told me to find the blessing in this and realize that my breakthrough was on the way. When you are in the midst of your mess, you don’t always see the blessing. She reminded me that I needed to rest, focus and realign. Now, I know I have to:

Focus and Wait for the Harvest.

Another friend called me this weekend to see how I was doing and mentioned what a challenge it is to wait. Waiting is not easy. It can be downright hard, but while we wait, we can choose how we act. One way of looking at waiting is like this: I planted a bunch of heirloom tomatoes last year and I checked them every day for signs of fruit. It took months before the plants flowered and another few months before fruit appeared. What I did not see was all the growth going on in the dirt. In order to hold up this huge plant and eventually support the fruit, the root system had to be established first. My harvest would not have been plentiful if I did not wait. Not even MiracleGro could make the plants produce fruit faster. I simply had to wait and while I was waiting, I grew more and more excited about the anticipation of fruit. Isn’t this a lot like life?

No matter how much we want something to happen faster, it will happen in its own time and in the meantime, we can choose to have a good disposition while waiting for our breakthrough.

Question for you: What have you found yourself waiting for that was worth it and would you change anything about the process?

Filed Under: Writer's Life Tagged With: blessing, breakdown, breakthrough, children, focus, harvest, mental health, physical health, priorities, rest, restoration, waiting

How to Increase Your Focus

January 14, 2013 by Lucrecer 3 Comments

Staying focused has been a challenge for me and it does not help that there are so many interesting things to read on the Internet 24 hours a day. I love learning new things and new ideas thrill me so much I want to instantly start working on them. But, this mindset does not yield very good results when your mind is all over the place. At some point, we have to make a conscious effort to focus on the task at hand. Here are a few ways I have been increasing my ability to focus:

Set up the right environment. I have a few favorite spots in my home I like to sit down and write. If my children are occupying my writing desk to do homework or my favorite chair, I try to recreate a space of comfort. I have a favorite shawl I like to wear and I usually have a cup of water or tea near by. As a mother, I have perfected the art of tune out, so I can block out most sounds around me at home. If it is really noisy, I will put on some headphones and listen to music while I write.

Only work on what is in front of you. Meaning, close the email and all your social media platforms. Cut off all distracting notifications on your phone. The only notifications I have set on my phone is text messages and low battery. If someone sends me a text, the message can wait to be read. If it is really important, family and friends know to call. By removing these distractions, I have created an ideal workspace for taking care of what I need to.

Schedule time to complete the task. I did not realize until recently how important it is to schedule time to write and workout. My day can easily become full of other people’s priorities very quickly. Since I have started writing down the days I will exercise and the time, I can stick to the schedule a lot easier. When it comes to writing, I am developing the discipline to write whether I feel like it or not, because I set the time aside to do just that. We have to put ourselves and the things we say are important to us on our calendars and treat them as important priorities.

Break the tasks down into doable pieces. It is easier to focus on a project or task when you break it down into smaller pieces. Everything does not have to be done in one sitting. If you are writing, get the first draft out and move on. If you are exercising, work on one body grouping instead of trying to do a full-body workout. Doing a half-ass job is as good as not doing the work at all, so break it down so you will be successful.

Finally, show yourself some grace as you develop your focus. It takes effort and making focus a priority to increase it. I fall off the bandwagon sometimes and lose my focus just like everyone else, but I know what I want to accomplish and how. That helps me to stay focused. It also helps to write down your projects or what you are working on. Being able to see what is important to you will help you to eliminate distractions and focus. Believe me, I accomplish much more when I write it down.

Tell me, what things are you trying to focus on and what are you going to do to increase your focus. Please share in the comments.