My last post about breaking down resonated with a few people this week. A friend contacted me privately to say this was something she needed to read and thanked me for being so transparent. Another said she was going through a similar situation and she thought she was alone. I want to make it clear, there was not one single thing that contributed to my body giving out on me last week, it was multiple things. A lack of sleep, no time to recover from long periods of work and activities, trying to bring extra money into my household and raising three children as a single mother takes its toll on the body both mentally and physically. I was lying whenever I was asked how I was doing. I gave the standard, expected answer of, “I’m fine,” because when it comes down to it, most people really don’t care how you are doing. It is one of those questions not meant to be answered…truthfully.
We need to give each other permission to not have to lie.
We need to stop making people feel like they are not team players when they put themselves, their health or their family first. What has happened to respecting a person’t boundaries? I understand obligations and I believe in being true to what you have committed to doing, but I also believe we have become so busy being busy, people no longer know how to disconnect and reconnect with their family or themselves.
Sucking it up does not make you stronger.
While I was experiencing all that pain last week, I thought about pushing through it. I thought about sucking it up and going into work and denying I felt as bad as I did. Then, I thought about my kids and what would happen to them if I allowed stress to take me out. Nothing is worth losing your health over. And, we can not preach being healthy to our children when we are not being healthy.
Make restoration a priority in your life.
We are more than we seem. We are human. We require rest, stimulation, challenge and love to be whole beings. Promise me this, you will take time in the next week to disconnect and just be. Spend time with people who are important to you. Tell a family member, a friend or a co-worker you appreciate them. Do not assume they know. You tell them!
Question: What is the one thing you are going to do today to reconnect with yourself and someone who is important to you?
I love you Lu! Rest is SO important. I realized about a year ago I was killing myself. Even with exercise. I started working in more sleep. A lot had to give in order to do so. I am still working on it too, but have come so far. Funny how making sleep a priority is so deeply hard.
Not that sleep or rest will make things better, but that is the time our bodies heal so we can take on regular life and deal with stress.
An aside, when I read this I feel such a longing to live near you… to help with the kids or just be able to run over and give you a long hug. What you are doing is hard. Being a single mom is hard… and I regard you so highly for the weight you carry that is far beyond what I could ever understand. You keep on being a light, getting rest, and loving your family hard. There is reward and blessing for choosing the high road. I know watching you and your passion is a blessing to not only me, but many others. That blessing for others is your as well… I pray it fuels you… xoxox
Jenny, I started making sleep a priority a few months ago. I don’t stay up late anymore because I have to rise so early each morning.
And, stop trying to make me cry. Your love and support, even from a distance blesses me more than you know. Thank you for your unconditional love. I appreciate it.
Thanks for just being honest about how much we need rest. I scream it from the mountain tops, but I am not certain anyone hears me. Thanks for being a similar voice. I tweeted you! smile
Jennifer, I am so glad I am not alone. There are those days where you do feel like no one hears a word you are saying. It is not lazy to need rest and it is not lazy when you say you are tired. It is real.